A view from the inside…

I have lost about 13 lbs since I went to the doctor last month.

I was quickly heading back to my heaviest weight of 250 and I swore I would never get back there again. But with work stress, Kevin unemployed and the Mom guilt stress that comes with raising a 2 and half year old boy, I was creeping up there again fast.

My energy level sucked … no other way to put that. I was tired, cranky and just generally felt like shit. My annual physical was past due by a couple of months and I didn’t want to go. I knew I was at least 25 lbs heavier than the last time I saw my doc (last year). And to make matters worse, the last time I was there, over a year ago, he actually gave me a high-5 for my weight loss (35 lbs gone since March, 2007).

My physical didn’t reveal anything dramatic… and actually my cholesterol had gone down below 200. But I knew since Kev lost his job we hadn’t been eating out as much and we don’t fry anything at home, so I wasn’t surprised. Even tho’ I don’t think I ate that bad, my weight was going up, my energy was going down and my emotional state was all over the place. Kev’s cholesterol on the other hand, had gone thru’ the roof. It was time to do something.

Like everyone else, I wanted a quick fix. But like everyone else knows… there isn’t one.

I don’t normally watch “The Biggest Loser”, I bowl on Tuesdays, but I usually am home in time to catch the last 15 minutes or so where they show who was kicked off the ranch and how they look today. However, about this time I saw the whole episode of The Biggest Loser where a constant who was eliminated in the first couple of weeks came back 12 weeks later with an amazing 87 lb. weight loss…87 pounds!! At home. On her own. No magical ranch, no magical trainer… just her and 87 pounds after only a couple of weeks, if that, at the ranch.

Shit, if she can do that … so can I. So I did a little bit of research on the Internet and then went to the bookstore, March 28 and purchased The Biggest Loser, 30 Day Jump Start. Then I went back and bought Bob Harper’s “Are You Ready” and I also picked up the Biggest Loser Family Cookbook. Good thing I still have money on my Border’s card. Lol

Up to this point, lots and lots of things have been going through my mind; mostly frustration at myself. I know how this is supposed to work: eat right and exercise. But my self-talk had a million excuses: I must have a metabolism problem, my hormones are wonky, I don’t really eat that bad (after polishing off a sleeve of Girl Scout Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies), I have stress, I’m tired… and on and on and on. I was craving ice cream and cookies. I really felt like my body had completely turned on me.

When in fact I fear, it was the other way around; I had turned on my body.

And then there is the mental image… I’ve always been a bit startled when I see pictures of myself. In my mind, I am a lot thinner. The person I see in the photo looking back at me can’t possibly be me… but it always is. I hate my chins the most… all of them. lol

However, there’s been a change, now I am eating more whole unprocessed foods. I’m staying away from white foods, like white potatoes, white toast, bread in general and I am eating whole fruits and veggies. I’m measuring my food and have been writing down and tracking everything I eat. I’ve never been a pop drinker, so that wasn’t an issue. I still have a cup of coffee in the morning, but I also make sure I have some nutrition. And right now, during the week an EAS Myoplex shake works for me… the strawberry is yummy.

My favorite treat is sugar free – fat free jello pudding, made with low-fat milk. I’m eating whole grains instead of processed, but I also have room. Room for a slice of pizza, if I want it, I just make it thin crust now. My favorite sweet tooth item right now is a whole grapefruit, cut in half, with splenda. I am eating every 3 to 4 hours, so I never get to the point where I am starving. And it doesn’t take much food to satisfy my hunger.

I actually road my bike this weekend.

My goal is 10 lbs a month. I think it’s doable and at that rate I will be 175, by my birthday in October.

You are probably asking… “Ok Sheryl, so why are you putting all this crap on your blog? “ Well, it’s simple. A blog named Crap-o-rama is a perfect place for crap like this and simply put, I’m gonna do it this time and now I have to be accountable. Not just to my family, but to my bloggy friends. If and when I start to falter, I want to be able to look back here and see how I was so motivated.

If someone else sees this journey and is motivated, then that’s cool too. Am I trying to be the next weight-loss guru? oh hell no. I’m just trying to be my own guru. I owe it to my family. I owe it to my son. I owe it to myself.

January, 2009 - 12 of 12

January, 2009 - 12 of 12

Yesterday was January 12th. (hey I tried to remind you guys….. smartasses!) lol

12 of 12 is the brain child of Chad Darnell. The idea is that you take 12 pictures on the 12 of each month and then post them over here. There are pictures of people’s days from all over the world. It’s a cool little exercise and you can really make it what you want.

I did my 12 of 12 a little different yesterday. I used my 50 mm f1.8 lens all day. I’m pretty happy with the results. These are all SOOC (straight out of camera). I also tried to incorporate the original idea into at least a few pictures which was to include a body part in the pics.

6:51 AM just out of my morning shower.

7:10 AM Hunter’s morning biiiiigggg stretch.

12:58 PM Waiting for my Hubby… in his sunglasses (he left them in my car and mine were in his… go figure).

1:02 PM Me without the sunglasses. I told you I was waiting for Hubby, but I didn’t tell you why. We were going to lunch together.

1:04 PM He’s here!!

5:20 PM Just leaving the office. Man having two positions really sucks and creates havoc on your desk.

6:01 PM Hunter standing in the kitchen (ok actually he was running from having his picture taken… I just don’t know why… lol). Yes, he really is THAT tall.

7:04 PM Yellow peppers all cut up for my salad.

7:08 PM Pizza for dinner - homemade.

7:54 PM Avoiding the camera part 2

7:55 PM Just got a text from Hubby and Hunter wants to reply.

8:20 PM The eyes have it.

Well, that was my Monday. Thanks for stopping by and be sure you go and check out the rest of the participants. Actually, you should really try it…. it is a lot of fun.

This is weird…

Ok, this is just weird.

Kev left for his weekend hunting trip yesterday afternoon.

He took the dogs.

And he took Hunter.

It’s just me and the cats in the house.

…weird

I’m going up today. That’s right. A nice long drive, by myself. I can roll the window down, blair the music and drive. Talk about relaxing.

Hey Cindy Lou, when are you leaving for Georgia? I will be pretty close to you this weekend.

Hey everybody… um… okay… hey, you there…. Lol

Don’t forget, Sunday is the 12th… it’s 12 of 12 time again.

How to fight the frumpies

Before:

Here’s one with sunglasses to make the comparison fair:

After:

My Mom gave me money for my birthday and told me I had to spend it on myself and then I had to report back what I bought. Well Mom, here’s my report. I bought myself a new do.

They say it’s your birthday. It’s my birthday too–yeah.

In honor of my 45th birthday, I put together a list of 45 things that I believe are the essence of me. These words finish the following sentence about me:

I am (a/an)

1. Mom
2. Wife
3. sister
4. daughter
5. optimist*
6. realist*
7. lover of photography
8. generous
9. bean counter
10. introspective
11. easy-going
12. sensitive (overly)
13. smart
14. nature lover
15. animal lover
16. ocean gazer
17. thinker
18. reader
19. drawer (as in one who draws, not part of a dresser) lol
20. curious
21. over-thinker
22. voter
23. skinny on the inside
24. not-so-much on the outside
25. food lover
26. specifically, ice cream lover
27. teacher (to my son)
28. listener
29. peaceful
30. go with the flow kinda gal
31. Libra
32. coffee drinker
33. focused*
34. sarcastic
35. passionate
36. Mona Vie drinker
37. tree lover
38. independent*
39. silly
40. calligrapher
41. perfectionist
42. cooker
43. baker
44. young at heart
45. 45 years old, today.

*words I got from my hubby.

new routine

Our routine has been going through so many changes lately. When Kev started his new job he only worked for a week before a two week shut-down. At that point, his new schedule was more of a novelty. The first week we were both on vacation. But now we are several days into what will be our new routine. Kev leaves at 5:30 in the morning. Some times I get up then and sometimes I stay in bed until 5:45 or 6:00. I go down stairs and have a cup of coffee from our new coffee pot with a timer. Even tho’ I miss my broken espresso maker, I’m loving having coffee already made when I get up.

I try and get my hair and makeup done and make breakfast for Hunter and possibly a bagel for me. Usually around 6:30 I hear “Daaad” - I’m sure this will switch to “Moooom” shortly… but it was Dad all last week and old habits are hard to break - even if you are only two.

I go get Hunter and he comes downstairs to eat breakfast. I usually finish gathering stuff for lunches and wash up the few dishes. I do this before I get dressed so I don’t get my work outfit dirty.

After Hunter eats breakfast, I clean him up and get him dressed. At this point he usually watches the rest of Blue’s Clues (they took The Upside Down Show off the 7:00 slot) and run up and get dressed.

We are usually out of the house by 7:30.

{fast forward to the evening}

Kevin now picks up Hunter from daycare and I can come straight home from work. Kev has been making dinner. So when I get home there isn’t much to do but wait for dinner to finish up and talk about our respective days.

We always sit down as a family and eat.

The added bonus: Today I got off work by 5:15 and was home by about 5:30. I had the dishes done by 6:30ish {I do the dishes when he cooks and vice versa}. We all changed our clothes and actually got some family time in the pool.

I’m loving this new routine.

Woooooooooooooooooooooooo

You’ve GOT to be kidding me!!!!

I can’t tell you how pissed off I am!! It should be no secret that I am a WWE fan. Particularly Ric Flair, The Nature Boy… Wooooooooooo

I’m a huge fan of his, I don’t know why, I just am.

So when I found out he was being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame I knew I had to DRV it. Today when Hunter was taking his nap, I turned it on to watch it. It originally aired last night, pretty late.

So I am sitting here, fast forwarding thru the commercials. Triple H finally comes out and says a few words. They show the Ric Flair montage… very cool. Couple more commercials and then Triple H comes back and is saying his final words before the Natch comes out… and the DVR stops… “End of Event”…WTF.

I did a search… it’s not coming on again. It’s worse when you think you taped something and then you go to watch it and …. it’s not there, then if you forgot to tape it altogether. It used to make me insane when this happened when I was trying to tape Buffy. But I thought this wouldn’t be an issue with a DVR. I thought it was supposed to know when something started late or was running late.

Shit… I’m so disappointed. I have to go search the Internet for it now. I sure hope I can find it…

Damn!

Congrats Ric Flair!!

Wooooooooooo